worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
