think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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