Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
