dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
