i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
