i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
