was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
