mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
