Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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