found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize