WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
