OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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