woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
