I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
