My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
