But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
