I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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