I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
