Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.

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(440): View more from Ohio

And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link

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(630): View more from Illinois

he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep

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(816): View more from Missouri

So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta

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(515): View more from Iowa

In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...

(1-775): View more from Nevada

That's what friends are foooooooor!

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(757): View more from Virginia

My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.

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