The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
