I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
