woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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