I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
