never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
