did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
