Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
