So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Never underestimate the power of titties
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
