Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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