Rock
Scissors
Fuck
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
