I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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