ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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