I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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