I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
