She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
