He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
