I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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