Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
