There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize