Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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