pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my mouth tastes like poor choices
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
