weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
