At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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