hotel room ftw
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I need water and some morals
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
