He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize