I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
