I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
