What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
