get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
