do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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