Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize