woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We just shotgunned beers for America
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
