Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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