you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
