Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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