he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
