woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize