So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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