I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
