Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
