ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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