I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
