how can u be prego again
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
