so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
