Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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