Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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