I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
