she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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