I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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