no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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