You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
