He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
