you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
