That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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