I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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