Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
