I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
