I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
