Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
